I am thoroughly convinced that modern love remains the same, no matter how old or how new it is. In his song of that name, David Bowie warns, “don’t believe in modern love.” If you ask me, I think you have to believe in it–it’s been around so very long, how could it be wrong?

Lately I’ve borne witness to modern love of the teenaged variety. Now, I’ve been parenting teens for several years, and rarely do I truly get a glimpse into their cloistered world; my kids usually make certain that I’m excluded from that elite club. However we’ve been hosting French foreign exchanges students over the past week, and because of the many events slated at which host families are requested to be in attendance, I’m getting a rapid education in modern love, international style.

Ten days ago, a group of bleary-eyed teens from a small town in France arrived at our high school parking lot, full of trepidation, not quite sure if they would be stuck with lame hosts (and hosts worried they’d be stuck with lame guests!), and probably wondering what their American counterparts would be like. In a few short days we’ve watched with amusement the transformation from apprehension to near aggression–that is, when it comes to pursuit of that elusive concept, modern love.

It’s been interesting to observe these teens’ progression from virtual strangers with very little evidently in common, to friends, in a matter of a few short hours to, well, what definitely appears to be more than just friends…

Over the weekend, we attended yet another gathering for the group, this one to watch France take a beating against England in the Rugby World Cup. While rugby was the excuse for the gathering, there were far more than scrums on the minds of these kids, who–a mere hour into the party–were found flirting with one another, some making out in the barn out back, others sitting in the laps of their American counterparts, many swapping spit and a few mad gropes wherever they could.

It was downright refreshing (well, until we noticed one of our kids was involved)! But seriously, what it did do was bring back that feeling of what it’s like to fall in love again–with someone you hardly know, but you know it feels right, and you’re willing to sort of put it out there for all to see because the passion takes over the logic, and even if under normal circumstances you wouldn’t be caught dead with your parents seeing you in a clinch with a kid you barely know and with whom you can hardly communicate (at least verbally!), well, under the circumstances, it just happens.

Ahhh…if only we could bottle that raw, fervent emotion and uncork it when we need it most, imagine how much better off we’d all be! Especially because eventually that powerful passion fades. After all, such intensity is hard to sustain, so how could it not?

This was a theme I wanted to explore when I wrote Sleeping with Ward Cleaver. After that ardent passion fades and mundane reality takes over, after the happily-ever-after: then what? You fall in love, get married, and expect things to be perfect. But then you start to take each other for granted and life takes over and kids come along and life is more about survival and trying to keep your head above water than worrying about stoking the fires of passion that once overrode everything else. I’ve seen enough marriages not be able to forge past those hard times (my own parents included), so I loved the idea of creating a couple who are at the point of deciding whether their marriage is salvageable, and if so, how in the world are they going to fix it? It’s something I think a lot of people experience in their own lives and I figured they could relate to. Maybe it’s my attempt to create a happily ever after, re-dux: to give readers a chance to feel what it might be like to fall in love all over again, this time with the same person.

It breaks my heart that in one week we will wave farewell to a lovely group of French teens, many of whom have fallen crazy in love for kids who live an ocean away–not exactly a recipe for sustaining a viable relationship. But at least they’ve have had the great fortune of experiencing that force field that everyone eventually comes to recognize as love. And whether it’s modern or not, fact is, it’s as old as the hills, and most of us would give anything to experience that feeling again and again.

Hollywood uses the term “cute meet” to describe the first time the hero and heroine come together.

This first meeting sets in motion the emotional plot of the story, the ahhh moment, the catch in the throat, the faster heartbeat. The more dramatic and romantic that meeting, the more believable it is for us that this represents a major turning point in the hero’s and heroine’s lives.

If done right, a virtual stage has already been set up before that crucial meeting—where the hero and the heroine are, what time it is, their names, and what they look like—so we can see them and watch the unfolding action. But it’s not just the impactful circumstances of the meeting that make it memorable.

It’s that all important micro-moment—within the first meeting—that sets up the promise of a truly great romance. That recognition of each other and the silent acknowledgment that something exciting is in the air between them, signifies for us the start of their process of falling irrevocably in love.

Very often the most romantically significant moments are when nothing is said at all and not much is done either. Full-on copulation is not necessary for the hero and heroine to recognize that “this is the one.” The dramatic suspenseful moment could a shared look across a crowded room, an accidental brush of his hand against hers, an unexpected act of kindness on one of their parts.

So, how did you and your significant other meet?
Do dish about your cute meet.

What do the classics The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Catcher in the Rye, and To Kill a Mockingbird have in common? They’ll be celebrated as part of the American Library Association’s (ALA) Banned Books Week (BBW) celebrations from September 29 to October 6.

A challenge is a person expressing a point of view and is also an attempt to remove or restrict materials from the curriculum or library, based upon the objections of a person or group, thereby restricting the access of others. A banning is the removal of those materials. The top three reasons usually cited for challenging (and banning) material are that it’s considered to be “sexually explicit,” contain “offensive language,” and be “unsuited to age group.”

While books usually are challenged with the best of intentions—to protect children from difficult ideas and information—censorship, whether subtle and imperceptible, or blatant and overt, is nonetheless harmful. As Ray Bradbury says, “You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” Implied here is that the sum of a culture is contained within the pages of a book.

Authors who frequented the ALA list of top 100 most frequently challenged books of the 1990s, included Judy Blume, Alvin Schwartz, and Toni Morrison. Surprises for me were the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling and the Earth Children series by Jean Auel.

For this year, the list of adult books includes I Know Why a Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros, Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck, and The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan. The young adult list contains Forever by Judy Blume, The Giver by Lois Lowry, and Whale Talk by Chris Crutcher. The corresponding children’s books are In a Dark, Dark Room by Alvin Schwartz, The Stupids Step Out by Harry Allard, Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People by Dav Pilkey, and It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris.

Do you think books should be banned? Are there cases where it’s clearly warranted?

"Traveling where the page takes you," says author Sue Charnley. Or as other writers call it—evoking a sense of place. It means taking us, the readers, right where the action in the story is occuring.

Every place, be it a beach in Southern France, an overused campsite, a street corner in Manhattan, or the Alaskan wilderness, can be dialed up with a few carefully chosen details. Less is always more in this case, but its pulling certain specifics out of ordinary life and putting them together in special ways that bring a place vividly to life.

By emotionally shading those details, by reprising them as motifs, by painting scenes with a large color pallette, by using word repetition and alliteration and words that sound like their meaning (snap and ding), and by indexing into our memory banks with the essence of one scent or the taste of one food or the texture of one fabric, writers layer in the lusciousness in their stories. This allows us to imagine what we feel of what is being sensed.

As a reader, which of your senses does a story affect the most strongly? Which types of details weave a magic carpet to carry you away right into the heart of the story?

Going with the assumption that two months late is better than never, I’m posting photos with comments about my side of the trip to Dallas. This was my first Romance Writers of America national conference, and I was star-struck, excited, and incandescently happy to be with folks who thought marks on paper is a valuable way of life.

I first started my journey to Dallas by making detailed notes about what I wanted to do during the five days I was there…

Then came the packing

Despite judicious choice of items to take with me, I ended up with too much luggage

Dallas Skyline

Romance Writers of America 2007 Logo

Literacy Autographing

With authors Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Teresa Medeiros, Elizabeth Bevarly

With authors Nora Roberts, Julia Quinn, Christina Dodd

With Elodie Michels (left) and Romance Novel TV Production Manager Kim Castillo (right)

With Lacey Kaye

In case the photos so far haven’t been clear, the conference is [i]all[/i] about the clothes, the shoes, the bags, manis/pedis, etc. (j/k). Author Eloisa James’s shoes (left) and author Sophia Nash’s shoes (right)…

Author Candice Hern with her National Readers Choice Award and with author Barbara Freethy

Candice Hern with Sophia Nash, with author Sabrina Jeffries, and with authors Kathryn Smith and Jeaniene Frost

Haven Rich, by herself and with author Kalen Hughes

Gift from the Bon Bons to Kim Castillo. Haven Rich collected everyone’s contributions, coordinated everything, bought the main items, and drove the gift over to Dallas. Eloisa James presented it to Kim Castillo.

Author Amanda McCabe’s Regency gown for the Beau Monde Soiree

Amanda McCabe with author Regina Scot, author Andrea Pickens, and authors Debra Bess and Diane Gaston (right)

Diane Gaston by herself; with author Terri Brisbin; with author Eloisa James, Elodie Michels, Amanda Collins, and Santa

Lifetime TV Interviewer Michelle Buonfiglio with Elodie Michels and Amanda Collins; Santa, Kim Castillo, Julianne Perry Stone

Author La Nora Roberts

Author Anna Campbell

Authors Nalini Singh, Cathy Maxwell, Jo Beverley

Author Janet Mullany

Authors Kathryn Caskie, Sophia Nash, Karen Rose

Authors Lisa Kleypas and Christina Dodd (left) and authors Karen Hawkins and Suzanne Enoch (right)

Squawk Radio (Eloisa James, Christina Dodd, Kim Castillo, Lisa Kleypas, Teresa Medeiros, Elizabeth Bevarly)

Authors Victoria Alexander and Stephanie Laurens; author Sabrina Jeffries

Author JR Ward

Author Sherrilyn Kenyon (Kinley MacGregor)

Authors Sara MacKenzie, Kalen Hughes, Victoria Dahl

Authors Sandy Blair and Jules Bennett

Smart Bitches Reviewers Candy (left) and Sarah (right)

At the Red River Cowboy Bar, after the RITA awards and the dessert reception, with Sophia Nash and a mechanical bucking bull

Sophia Nash with Kim Castillo (left) and Kathryn Caskie (right)

Author Kayla Perrin with mechanical bull (left) and a bona fide cowboy (right)

I waited in line for hours to ship home all the free books I’d collected and the ones I’d bought at the author signing using the hotel’s ground shipping services

Then I returned home to this…

Don’t be shocked by the question.  I stand in front of you proud to say that I am a
flasher.   I love to flash.  In fact I do it several times a time.  I love the idea of
showing people what I am about.  It is one of those things that I believe everyone should
be doing.   Actually, I think everyone should do it many times a day.

No, I’m not talking about exposing my body to the world.  I don’t think the world could
handle that!   What I am talking about is one of my pet peeves. Flashing, signaling, or
whatever you want to call it . . . please just use your automobile turn signal!!!   It
drives me batty when I am driving through the chaotic traffic of Atlanta and NO ONE is
using their turn signals.    I don’t mind letting you get in front of me if you let me
know you are coming over into my lane before you actually DO it.    I rant about this
particular pet peeve every single day.   In fact, I now have my kids pointing out cars
that do not use their signals.

So, if you are ever in Atlanta . . . please, please use your turn signals. Otherwise you
may just look in your rear view mirror and see me ranting.

Now tell me about one of your pet peeves.

Watching Bravo TV’s show Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style outfitting a woman with wardrobe essentials, got me thinking about the top twelve things without which I couldn’t live my day-to-day life.

0. Book

1. Moisturizer — Dramatically Different by Clinique and Daily Eye Benefits by Clinique

2. Concealer — Airbrush by Clinique

3. Acne Treatment — Outer Peace by Aveda

4. Foundation — Mineral Powder by Bare Essentials

5. Lip Balm, and Lip Gloss or Lipstick — Vanilla Sugar by Bath & Body Works, and Juicy Tubes by Lancôme or Different by Clinique

6. Brow Groomer — Brow Expert by Lancôme or Quickliner for Eyes by Clinique

7. Mascara — Fatale by Lancôme

8. Makeup Remover — Naturally Gentle Eye Makeup Remover by Clinique and Galatée Confort by Lancôme

9. Soap, Shampoo, Conditioner — Dove

10. Body Lotion — Curél

11. Deodorant — Clear Aloe Fresh by Herbal Clear

12. Perfume — Basic Instinct by Victoria Secret

What’s on your list of essentials?

A few months ago, my brother-in-law got married. I have been looking at all of the wedding
photos online and it got me thinking about all of the weddings I have read
about in romance novels. Some were
beautifully romantic, some were as plain as could be, and other were nothing
but rushed.

One of my favorites is from the first romance novel I ever
read. Connor MacAlister’s and Lady
Brenna’s ceremony from Julie Garwood’s The Wedding. Theirs was a rushed wedding, taking place in
a Highland glen.
The glen itself was surround by lush
forest. The ground and trees were
covered in vibrant hues of brown and green and purple flowers dotted the area. Who doesn’t love an outdoors wedding? I was vastly amused by the fact that Lady
Brenna would not allow Connor or his entire band of warriors to wear war paint
during the ceremony. And it was rather
sweet when later in the story (after she falls in love with Connor) Lady Brenna
remembers their wedding with fondness and love.

 
Now it is your turn. Tell me about a wedding you enjoyed in a romance novel.

My boys are back in school and once again the focus of my
life shifts to the car line. My kids
are always excited to go back to school, to see their friends, and pick up
their social life where they left it at the end of May. I, too, am excited to see the kids back in
school. Mainly because I like to be on a
routine. So in the afternoon, I sit
and wait in a car line that snakes through the school parking lot. Those 15 minutes of waiting are
peaceful. The quiet solitude of my
mini-van calls to me. And I find I can
read another chapter or two in the book I am currently devouring. I become engrossed, traveling through time
and seeing a romance bloom. I am
happy. But as the car line moves, I
feel sadness because I have to put down my book. My quiet time has come to an end. No more peaceful solitude. But as my van door opens and my boys get
in, another joy takes hold in my heart. My precious children have enjoyed another day of exploring, another day
of friendship, and another day of learning to love to read. I smile as both boys talk at the same time,
telling me of their day. Sometimes
chaos can be peaceful too!

 
So my question to you is . . . when and where do you steal
a few minutes a day to read?

Public displays of affection are not the norm for London. Yet, on two occasions, July 29, 1981 and September 6, 1997, thousands of people thronged the streets, and billions watched on telly, as the person they adored swept by, the first time for her wedding and the second time for her funeral.

Friday is the tenth death anniversary of Diana, the People’s Princess. She won the hearts of millions of people and loosened the moral strictures of hidebound society by not just talking the talk, but also walking the walk. From a shy bride to a devoted mother to a passionate campaigner, the Princess of Wales didn’t just transform herself, she changed a country. She was one of the first symbols of "girl power" — despite her desire for something that was not at all radical "to love and to be loved" — and her faith in the power of redemptive understanding, of allowing the weak to be weak.

No one watching Diana’s fairy tale wedding to her prince believed that she would not have a happily ever after. Fans everywhere celebrated the birth of her sons, a happy epilogue to the wedding. But they were saddened by the destruction of her love and marriage — it seems even talented, compassionate, beautiful princesses were not guaranteed HEAs.

It’s no wonder, many readers these days like second epilogues. They like knowing that the characters they’ve become attached to and indentified with are not only still together seven, eight, ten years down the road, but are still romantically attracted to each other with a love grown stronger over time.

What do you think of second epilogues? Did you catch the concert on July 1 broadcasted from Wembley Stadium on what would’ve been Diana’s 46th birthday?